Suriya's soul searching thought provoking article-Hindu (Tamil) - rekhs Don’t we have a part to play in crimes against women? Suriya Do I bring up my daughter and son equally without any partiality whatsoever? This is a question that nags my heart and mind quite often. When it comes to a boy’s body, I do not have do’s & don’ts or any fixed codes of discipline. But when it is about a girl child’s body I keep cramming in innumerable rules & regulations and restrictions. Protocols society taught me as regards ‘How to dress, proper decorum, etiquette and how to behave in public’ I keep repeating as pearls of wisdom now! I realize only too well there is a huge gap between this constant advice of mine and the conviction to raise my daughter as a bold & brave woman. When I used to accompany my wife for her regular check-ups to the gynaecologist, the board that stared at me from the wall always used to disturb me: 'Prenatal disclosure of sex of foetus is prohibited under law' written both in Tamil and English. To me it came across as extremely humiliating especially in a hospital where the patients where both educated and affluent. Even the learned are lay persons in their hatred and resentment against the feminine gender. There is no difference between the rich and the poor in this regard. Compelled pride thrust compulsorily This is a man’s world. It does not mean there is no place here for women. But every girl child / woman has the responsibility to support, safeguard, preserve and conserve many factors of ‘masculine conceit’ such as ‘chastity, virtue, culture, family prestige, pride & sense of belonging to one’s caste, religious restrictions’ Fulfilling that responsibility thrust on them women can then co-exist in this world without being hassled, under the mercy of these men, pampering their needs according to their comfort and convenience. Our violence begins when we crusade our ‘discredited dignity’ either directly or indirectly to a girl child who stands with a charming smile without a stitch on her. In all our epics, history, our tradition & customs, brave heritage which we wholeheartedly celebrate, the ideology of violence against women’s body brims and overflows. Despite being an avatar of God, his wife had to undergo a fire-sacrifice to prove her chastity! “There is no necessity for my wife to prove her chastity to anyone. I am glad she is fine. Chastity or bunkum!” Even our God lacks the courage to say it so vehemently! A few years ago, a girl’s intimate pictures were uploaded online by her ex-lover. She takes her family into confidence. Her parents harass her further for tarnishing their family prestige. They register a complaint with the police department to prevent her photos from going viral online. The police officer reprimands the parents by saying, ‘you give free reins to your daughter to do as she pleases and then come and complain now’ Parents further spew their humiliation on to their daughter. The girl committed suicide unable to bear the torment and torture. Though she boldly confronted the culprit who exploited her body she could not brave the onslaught of her family and society who should have actually been her Rock of Gibraltar and stood by her. She sacrificed her heart, mind, body and soul, her life in toto! Trampled Trust Whom else will a girl believe other than the man who professes to love her for eternity? Men who break this trust in the blink of an eye are indeed many who roam around in our society. But instead of apprehending the criminals per se, ‘knights in shining armour’ punish the girls who are the victims of savage brutality and grave injustice. If the affected girls resort to suicide a better option compared to the torment they are compelled to face in this society, shouldn’t we be ashamed to the core? Recently I read an article by a father whose girl child was subject to sexual abuse in ‘Hindu -Tamil’ which sent shockwaves in my heart. He went to complain against the culprit who sexually abused his daughter. The policemen asked in a loud voice, ‘Who has registered a sex complaint?’ They go at 11:00 p.m with the young girl to the judge’s house. Naturally the latter having gone to bed the child was forced to wait for 4 hours well after mid night. After that ordeal when she was taken for medical examination is worse, the employees over there behave in the most callous and insensitive manner, not taking into consideration it is a young child who has gone through unimaginable trauma. It is said a single grain of rice proves how tasty the feast will turn out. Same analogy holds good here for the harrowing way Law and society treated him. He defied censuring eyes and wagging tongues just to ensure the culprit does not go scot-free or some other girl child does not have to suffer similar trauma. Look at the ordeal he had to face! Hatred of women [Misogyny] campaign Pollachi incident has made the entire Tamil community stand in the shoes of the accused in court. A girl, victim of a brutal sexual assault boldly registers a police complaint. But after all the details regarding the victim is publicised through the police department, the girl’s family is threatened. This exposure of our indifference and negligence plus the decline in our organization is alarming to say the least. There are 2 types of reactions as backlash of this incident. ‘Girls, let this be a lesson for you to reform. Do not trust men who are strangers’ is the response, laced with affection by one group. Another group proclaims even at this hour of distress, ‘can a needle be threaded without the eye of the needle permitting it to enter’ fostering its ‘hatred of women’ campaign. Both the love and hatred reactions against women spell out the same presumption: That is how men will behave, it is up to you to adjust and maintain a low profile! When we can advise our womenfolk not to trust strangers why do we fail to admonish the men and say, ‘Behave with decorum and dignity towards women’ Like the sign ‘Beware Of Dogs’ on the gate, should every girl roam around with a sign nailed on her mind: Beware Of Men’? Professional criminals The anguished screams of the victims in the videos of the Pollachi incident rips our intestines in a pool of blood. This was not a crime to appease only the lust quotient of these brutes. They have shot obscene videos, blackmailed them and extorted money. The girls who refused to comply were brutally beaten up and tortured. The affluent girls were blackmailed for monetary gains. These heartless blackguards who have been gratifying themselves for many years should be regarded as professional criminals. They should be punished severely. At the same time if we think our duty stops there once they are punished and the problem is solved is a dangerous mind set and false sense of security to be lulled into. The degrading game played by our society using the woman’s body as a pawn has resulted in this Pollachi incident. Even though 100s of girls were sexually assaulted why didn’t any of the girls come forward to complain to our law enforcement or court of justice? What prevented those girls from confiding to the trustworthy ‘men’ in their respective families about being blackmailed? Besides the abuse and assault they had to endure, we are trapped in the most cruel Catch 22 situation of our own doing, unable to seek justice. Isn’t this even more dangerous? We should not forget the so called affectionate members who lamented ‘how could you make me bow my head in shame?’ are the main reason for the girls succumbing to the blackmailing threats of the culprits who said, ‘I will expose your indecent video online’ In a way we have a major share in these heinous acts by inhuman savages. If the family members had stood by the girl and said, ‘Shame the blackmailer in public, send him behind bars. We will support you’ this threat would not have seen the light of day. Extending unstinted support will give her more strength than what the court can achieve. The girl child is raised by her family and society as weak and fragile using her body as a lame pretext. Anti social elements use this to their advantage. We are the root cause of this problem. We stone the 4 culprits apprehended for this crime but strive our best as an entire society to hide our own wrong doings. WE will support WomEn A post in Facebook by a girl who studied in Coimbatore and is working abroad touched my heart. She had written: ‘If any man dares to threaten you with your photo or video, do not be scared. “Do what you want, man. My body is the same as all other women in the world’ Tell him this boldly” My mother told me this over the phone and I felt like hugging her tight and crying my heart out’ As long as families do not support each and every girl with such faith and conviction, assuring them of absolute protection, these crimes will keep repeating. As the first effort towards this reformation, ‘A woman’s body is not vulgar or indecent’ should be the shout-out renting the air from all our families. The concerned families should be protective towards the girls who were the victims in the traumatic Pollachi incident. They should divulge all the facts without being scared of anyone. Court of law should assure them of the required protection and bring the criminals guilty of this barbaric act to justice. At the same time ‘You cannot blackmail me using my body as bait. My body is not more vulgar than your perverted mind’ should be the slogan of every female child. It is the duty of all of us to endorse their conviction and support them every step of the way. Let us wake up to the fact this deep rooted ideological onslaught by our society against women is even more dangerous than the actual sexual assaults. - Suriya Film actor Contact: suriya@agaram.in
